Psychological Flexibility: What Is It and Why It Matters?

If you are like most people, you’ve probably noticed that the older you get, the more set in your ways you become. You see yourself become more entrenched in your ways of thinking and less tolerant of anything that deviates from them. You become more psychologically rigid. 

As a consequence, you’ve probably also become less willing to accept difficult thoughts and experiences and you may even engage in specific behaviours to avoid them, such as excessive drinking or numbing ourselves with distractions.

Psychological flexibility, put simply, is the ability to make room for those difficult experiences while keeping our sight firmly on the things that actually matter to us, whatever that is being a better parent or friend, excelling at our job, or spending more time with the people we love.

Psychological flexibility is all about shifting our focus from avoidance to acceptance; from working to stop a difficult experience to redirecting that energy towards actively pursuing the things we value in life. 

Importantly, psychological flexibility involves turning towards our difficult thoughts and emotions but not letting them control our lives. It is all about being more open to whatever life throws our way, embracing both negative and positive emotions while slowly building habits in line with our values and aspirations.

What Does Psychological Flexibility Mean in ACT?

Psychological flexibility is the cornerstone of the ACT framework. The whole point of ACT is to increase our mental flexibility to live a purposeful, meaningful life. 

Psychological flexibility, as seen through the ACT lens, is all about staying in touch with the present moment (both our inner world and the reality outside), staying open to the wide range of thoughts and emotions we experience every day, and accepting those emotions instead of fighting them. 

This flexible stance allows us to redirect energy that we would normally spend fighting our inner experiences into our relationships, our goals, and living a life in line with our deeply held values.

Examples of Psychological Flexibility

Psychological flexibility can show up in many different areas of life. Often, it does not look dramatic from the outside. Instead, it involves responding to difficult situations with openness, awareness, and intention rather than avoidance or impulsive reactions.

Here are a few examples:

• Feeling anxious before an important conversation but choosing to have it anyway because the relationship matters to you.

• Noticing self-critical thoughts after making a mistake at work without spiraling into shame or giving up completely.

• Experiencing grief after a loss while still staying connected to loved ones and daily responsibilities.

• Having intrusive or uncomfortable thoughts without treating them as dangerous or needing to immediately get rid of them.

• Feeling unmotivated or discouraged while still taking small steps toward the kind of life you want to build.

Psychological flexibility does not mean never struggling. It means learning how to make space for difficult inner experiences without allowing them to completely dictate your actions. Over time, this can help us feel more grounded, resilient, and connected to what matters most.

How Do You Stay Mentally Flexible?

Staying mentally flexible does not mean forcing yourself to stay positive all the time or never feeling overwhelmed. In fact, psychological flexibility begins with recognizing that difficult emotions, uncertainty, and painful thoughts are a normal part of being human.

Often, the more we fight against our inner experiences, the more stuck we become. We may spend large amounts of energy trying to avoid anxiety, suppress thoughts, or control emotions that cannot be fully controlled. Over time, this struggle can pull us further away from the life we want to live.

Psychological flexibility involves learning how to pause, notice what is happening internally, and respond with greater awareness instead of reacting automatically. It means becoming more willing to experience discomfort when doing so helps us move toward the things we care about.

This is not something people achieve perfectly. It is an ongoing practice of returning our attention to the present moment and choosing actions that align with our values, even when life feels difficult.

Ways to Practice Psychological Flexibility

There are many small ways to begin building psychological flexibility in everyday life. Often, the goal is not to eliminate difficult thoughts or emotions, but to change how we relate to them.

Mindfulness exercises can help us become more aware of the present moment without immediately reacting to it. This might involve slowing down and noticing physical sensations, focusing on the breath for a few minutes, or simply observing thoughts as they come and go.

Defusion exercises are another important part of ACT. These exercises help create distance from difficult thoughts instead of becoming entangled in them. For example, you might practice silently saying, “I am having the thought that I am a failure,” rather than automatically accepting the thought as true. Even small shifts like this can reduce the power thoughts hold over us.

Other helpful practices may include journaling, values clarification exercises, meditation, or intentionally taking small actions that move you toward the kind of person you want to be, even when uncomfortable emotions are present. You can find many such tools and exercises on my ACT tools page and my ACT resources page. 

Practical Exercises to Increase Mental Flexibility

• Mindful Breathing: This simple mindfulness exercise helps build psychological flexibility by teaching you to notice thoughts and feelings without trying to control or avoid them. By gently returning your attention to the breath each time the mind wanders, you practice openness, presence, and the ability to redirect attention with kindness.

• Flipping Pain Into Purpose: This ACT values exercise helps you use emotional pain as a guide to uncover what truly matters to you. By exploring what your difficult thoughts and feelings say about your deeper values, you can begin taking small, meaningful actions aligned with the life you want to live.

• Thoughts As Traffic: This ACT exercise uses the metaphor of passing traffic to help you notice thoughts without getting pulled around by them. Instead of fighting, avoiding, or obeying difficult thoughts, you practice allowing them to come and go while gently returning your attention to what truly matters.

• Notice and Allow: This mindfulness exercise helps build psychological flexibility by encouraging you to notice thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without fighting or trying to change them. By practicing acceptance and observing your inner experience with openness, you learn to carry discomfort more gently and stay grounded in the present moment.

• Switch It Up: Here the point is to enact small changes in your daily routine. Even what looks like a small change can help put you on the right path.

• Working With Resistance: This ACT exercise helps you notice and soften the inner struggle against difficult thoughts, emotions, and sensations. By turning toward the part of yourself that resists pain with curiosity and kindness, you practice acceptance and create more space for psychological flexibility and self-compassion.

  
  

Psychological Flexibility FAQs

What are the three pillars of psychological flexibility?

Psychological flexibility is often described as involving openness, awareness, and values-based action. In ACT, this means being open to difficult inner experiences, staying present, and taking actions aligned with what matters to you.

Who coined the term psychological flexibility?

The term psychological flexibility is closely associated with Steven C. Hayes, the founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Hayes and other ACT researchers developed the concept as a core part of the ACT model.

How is psychological flexibility measured?

Psychological flexibility is commonly measured using self-report questionnaires such as the Acceptance and Action Questionnaire-II (AAQ-2). Researchers may also use other ACT-related assessments that evaluate mindfulness, values-based action, and cognitive defusion.

What are the best online courses for developing psychological flexibility?

Popular online courses for developing psychological flexibility often draw from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and mindfulness-based approaches. Well-known ACT authors and trainers such as Dr. Russ Harris and Steven C. Hayes offer courses, books, and exercises designed to help people build these skills.