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My mind clearly has no trouble generating contradictory thoughts. Yet by the rules of logic, I can’t be both a good therapist and a fraud at the same time. Because we’re taught that thinking should be rational and consistent, noticing opposing thoughts tends to grab our attention and feels like a problem that needs solving.

Carrying Painful Emotions: One Stone or Two? When painful emotions show up, our natural instinct is often to push them away. Of course we’d rather feel happy than sad, calm than angry. But painful emotions are an unavoidable part of being human—and they often point to things that matter deeply to us. Here’s the catch: when we struggle to make emotions like sadness disappear, we usually add to our suffering rather than reduce it. To see why, imagine that sadness feels like car

Mindfulness is not  magical or mystical. It’s not yoga, and it’s not meditation—though meditation can be one way to practice it. Mindfulness is a skill, and like any skill, anyone can learn it with practice. So what is  mindfulness? Mindfulness is the habit of paying more attention to the present moment , and less attention to the past or the future. It also means learning to notice and accept  your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations as they are —without judging them as

What am I willing to DO differently? Use this tool to keep track of times when you broke out of your normal routine. CHANGE doesn’t just happen, it requires ACTION.  Even small changes in your daily routine can help you get on the right path.  Don’t expect small changes to yield immediate results, think of this exercise as an experiment.  My Thoughts/Feelings What I NORMALLY do What I did (or will do) today I am always so tired! Lay down for a nap. Took a 15-minute walk.

The Bust Street Metaphor Imagine you’re sitting in a room—at home or at work—doing something important to you. Maybe you’re working, resting, or spending time with someone you care about. Outside your window is a busy street. Cars rush past constantly. Sometimes you barely notice them. Other times the screeching brakes, revving engines, and honking horns are impossible to ignore. Now imagine that these cars represent your thoughts . Some thoughts are just background noise. Ot

Find the Part That Says “NO!” — and Be With It When difficult thoughts, emotions, or bodily sensations show up, our instinct is often to change them. This urge to fix, reduce, or eliminate inner experience is rooted in non-acceptance —a refusal to allow what is already here. Even practices that look like mindfulness or relaxation can sometimes function as non-acceptance. Imagine having a stomachache and deciding to meditate in order to make it go away. No matter how calmly yo

Our culture is increasingly infused with the language of therapy. Concepts such as boundaries , gaslighting , and trauma  have escaped the counseling room and entered everyday discourse, often in ways that are genuinely helpful. While therapeutic language is sometimes misunderstood or overextended, greater awareness of these ideas can help us navigate our relationships, our inner lives, and our suffering. One striking example of this cultural shift is the idea of safety . Onc