All Posts

My mind clearly has no trouble generating contradictory thoughts. Yet by the rules of logic, I can’t be both a good therapist and a fraud at the same time. Because we’re taught that thinking should be rational and consistent, noticing opposing thoughts tends to grab our attention and feels like a problem that needs solving.

Most people feel stuck and unmotivated at times. When that happens, we usually face two problems at once: we don’t want to do the things we need to do, and then we beat ourselves up for not wanting to do them. Let’s be honest—many of the things we avoid when we’re feeling stuck simply aren’t fun. Some are boring, tedious, or downright unpleasant. In those moments, shame often shows up as a motivator, trying to push us into action. But shame only works for so long. Eventually,

Many approaches to mental health focus on reducing symptoms first, with the assumption that you need to feel better before you can live better. ACT takes a different approach. It teaches that while reducing suffering often happens naturally over time, you do not need to wait for anxiety, sadness, or self‑doubt to disappear before taking meaningful action.

Jennifer was a busy mother of three young children who felt stretched thin by work, family, and volunteer obligations. She had strong values around health and self-care, and in the past she had expressed those values through running. Before having kids, she ran regularly, completed frequent 10Ks, and went to the gym several times a week. She credited this routine with helping her feel strong, energized, and emotionally steady. Like many parents, however, her exercise routine

This is a simple noticing exercise. The goal is to slow down, notice what’s happening in your mind and body, and allow this moment to unfold with less struggle. The goal is not to reduce anxiety, feel calm, or get rid of difficult thoughts or feelings. However, you may notice that by struggling less, painful thoughts and feelings become a little easier to carry. Sit in a comfortable place, close your eyes, and take three or four slow breaths. Breathe in a little deeper than

Mindfulness is a way of practicing being more present with what is happening right now —including unwanted thoughts and uncomfortable feelings. Before you begin, remind yourself of this important point: The goal of mindfulness is not to change, control, or get rid of anything. Not thoughts. Not feelings. Not sensations. If you happen to feel calmer or more relaxed afterward, that’s a nice side effect—but it’s not the goal. Mindfulness is about showing up , not feeling better.

A few years ago, I worked with a young client—let’s call him Kevin—who described his life as “one big failure to launch.” Kevin was 21, living with his parents, and spending most of his time sleeping, smoking weed, playing video games, watching porn, and feeling miserable. He had done reasonably well in high school, but like many young adults, he viewed college strictly as job training. Since he didn’t know what he wanted to do “with the rest of his life,” college felt pointl

Carrying Painful Emotions: One Stone or Two? When painful emotions show up, our natural instinct is often to push them away. Of course we’d rather feel happy than sad, calm than angry. But painful emotions are an unavoidable part of being human—and they often point to things that matter deeply to us. Here’s the catch: when we struggle to make emotions like sadness disappear, we usually add to our suffering rather than reduce it. To see why, imagine that sadness feels like car

Mindfulness is not  magical or mystical. It’s not yoga, and it’s not meditation—though meditation can be one way to practice it. Mindfulness is a skill, and like any skill, anyone can learn it with practice. So what is  mindfulness? Mindfulness is the habit of paying more attention to the present moment , and less attention to the past or the future. It also means learning to notice and accept  your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations as they are —without judging them as

What am I willing to DO differently? Use this tool to keep track of times when you broke out of your normal routine. CHANGE doesn’t just happen, it requires ACTION.  Even small changes in your daily routine can help you get on the right path.  Don’t expect small changes to yield immediate results, think of this exercise as an experiment.  My Thoughts/Feelings What I NORMALLY do What I did (or will do) today I am always so tired! Lay down for a nap. Took a 15-minute walk.

The Busy Street Metaphor Imagine you’re sitting in a room—at home or at work—doing something important to you. Maybe you’re working, resting, or spending time with someone you care about. Outside your window is a busy street. Cars rush past constantly. Sometimes you barely notice them. Other times the screeching brakes, revving engines, and honking horns are impossible to ignore. Now imagine that these cars represent your thoughts . Some thoughts are just background noise. Ot

Find the Part That Says “NO!” — and Be With It When difficult thoughts, emotions, or bodily sensations show up, our instinct is often to change them. This urge to fix, reduce, or eliminate inner experience is rooted in non-acceptance —a refusal to allow what is already here. Even practices that look like mindfulness or relaxation can sometimes function as non-acceptance. Imagine having a stomachache and deciding to meditate in order to make it go away. No matter how calmly yo

Our culture is increasingly infused with the language of therapy. Concepts such as boundaries , gaslighting , and trauma  have escaped the counseling room and entered everyday discourse, often in ways that are genuinely helpful. While therapeutic language is sometimes misunderstood or overextended, greater awareness of these ideas can help us navigate our relationships, our inner lives, and our suffering. One striking example of this cultural shift is the idea of safety . Onc